How to not expect?
‘When you express your love, and expect that person to also express it in the same way as you did, then that’s business and not kindness.’
Read it again, and understand it. This was a quote my friend just randomly told me, and it became one of my favorite quotes! I thank him. Everybody says, ‘do not expect, expectations hurt’ But then expectations are natural as we are social beings who wants to be accepted and appreciated! No one has ever told us how to not expect. Here I am to do so. There are some thoughts that come to you, and you can connect to them completely. Such as-
‘I am not loved, they do not tell me or show me the love I deserve’ ‘I did so much, he/she did so little’ ‘Don’t cross oceans for someone who do not step over a puddle for you’ And it’s natural to have such thoughts. But I hope you know that it was your CHOICE to do something for that person. That person never asked you or demanded you to solve problems, or give time etc! It was what you did from your heart. You crossed an ocean for that person. But if you expect that person to cross an ocean for you, then with what intentions did you show your love? Was it because you wanted recognition and attention? Or, were there some other reasons?
Try showing your love by just ‘doing’ and ‘being’ there for that person. Just because YOU WANT to tell that person that how much you love them, just because you want to tell them that they mean so much to me, because you are grateful for that person’s existence in your life. Do all that your heart has for them. Just do, without expecting the same. Expecting is a result of you wanting attention, you craving love from someone else. Expectations hurt, but you are giving it the power to let you hurt. When you do something with your heart, with just your love and care, the response is never cared about.
Think about this, You love animals, maybe your pet. Do you expect them to show their love to you just like you do? No obviously. Your parents also If they are not healthy, you do anything you can do for them, you do anything you can to show them your love, but you do not expect them to do the same things, you know and trust that they love you as much as you do. Try trusting people. People have a different way of showing their love to you, it might not match your expectations but they are somewhere trying to tell you that you mean to me, please do have that eye to recognize it. When you do not trust, when you can’t see their love, you expect, because you are afraid to lose them.
And, WHAT YOU GIVE COMES BACK TO YOU! Always! If you truly did something for someone from your heart, it will come back. Live for moments like that. The best thing you know? They will always be unexpected! A surprise for you unlike expectations, they are fixed. You know or you want it at that time. But things like this, they are unexpected. Just do your bit, without caring. That person will realize someday, you will get what you have given back. This world is round, and with love still in it. It has to get back! Do think, when you did something for someone just because YOU WANTED TO, did it came back?
Keep spreading love.
~Manasvi shah 🙂