Let’s improve ourselves! blindly?
It happens with everyone. Life scares you many times, it just suddenly makes you uncertain about all the things you own, all the people that you care about. All the areas of your life disappoint you. Nothing just fits in. Nothing makes sense. And you are so much confused and keep on wondering about what exactly is happening to you. There are a lot of unanswered questions, of why that person is hurt or why that day was not just normal. Why everything had to be shattered in such a short span of time.
And then the most fearful part, what now?
So many questions, so many confusions and what we do is try finding answers to these questions around us, try looking for reasons to merely smile, around us. At that point of time, we do act strong and confident, you might not even be aware that you are acting in such a strong way. You suddenly feel you are alive and happy. But maybe that is not true. When there are so many questions how can we expect peace to prevail inside us? Does this happen to you too? Probably, yes.
Everyone suffers from such a phase. And it is not just a phase. This cycle might be continuing for a very long time.This routine might be too natural for you, maybe the same since years without you being aware of it!
So let me tell you one thing, after all the guilt that has accumulated inside you. Let me tell you that IT IS OKAY. It is okay to feel like you are a failure and that life is not fair. It is okay to feel confused and it is okay to live with such questions IT IS ALL OKAY! If you know that it happens to everybody, maybe in different phases of their lives, then have faith and believe that it is okay. It’s a part of your life. Everybody says that this phase will end and blah blah. But I know it is easy to say than to do.
I know the pain of that phase and the self hatred you go through after that. I am not saying this phase will end soon but trust me it is okay not to be okay. You are not meant to be perfect.
How to be okay about it? Just be aware of your situation. Just be aware and just accept that you failed, you made a mistake, are confused and uncertain. Once you are aware of the failures and mistakes, that phase just gets easier. Why to struggle and ask yourself so many questions and blame your own self for everything! Why to ask the question ‘why’ all the time! We all are being so harsh on ourselves every time, we criticise our own selves for every possible thing. Like if I have to talk about my own self, I use to or still might criticise my own self a lot. I am a very careless and carefree person, and suddenly some 2 months back I decided that now is the time when I have to be all discipline, prove myself to people and show to the world what I got. It is the time of my 12th, crucial and critical. I was too much driven by people around me; this was one thing I was listening from everyone. I was so much committed to make changes in all the areas of my life together that maybe I forgot to live them completely; I forgot to take care of my own self completely. Self criticism was too high. And suddenly all the things were not going right, yet I was acting strong! I had to still prove and grow. Later did I realise that what I was doing was just running towards the goals in the names of commitment and passion and acting that I was contended. I was just not okay with failing. And now I am aware of what I was doing.
I realised that when life throws a challenge at you during the journey of your goal, you need to first understand and overcome that challenge rather than blindly follow your dream or act normal. We are so much into proving and improving ourselves right now that we have stopped loving and recognising ourselves for whatever we have done or even tried doing. Giving advice’s or telling you ‘5 ways to improve yourself’ won’t help. And I am not here to do so. In fact what I believe is no one can do that. It is just you. As if you want to, if you want to feel contended and prove to not this world but yourself what you are then you will change. I hope you want to because the battle is not with THE WORLD outside but, the battle is with our own self.
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